I’m finally starting to feel a bit better after getting some decent sleep over the past couple of nights, but summer is apparently returning over the next week, so I am trying to embrace the improved mood before it goes to shit again. I really do not understand how people can enjoy summer when it literally robs you of sleep. 🤷🏻♀️
I’m actually going to be really interested to see how my mood changes over the months of keeping this journal. Hopefully I actually do KEEP it!
Anyway, I wanted to write about my decision to try and pursue a hysterectomy. I have been trying to figure out how to improve my health and I’ve finally come to the point where I think I need to try coming off the birth control I am on to treat my endometrosis to see if that’s what is causing the rest of my body to feel like absolute shit. I’ve tried basically everything else, so this is really all I have left.
Of course, it’s likely going to be an uphill battle because although I am 36, I’m still “young” and electively removing my uterus isn’t “normal”, but I don’t need it and because there’s no non-hormonal way to stop my periods, it’s really seems like the only option for me. My endometrosis is (thankfully) mild compared to most women who NEED a hysterectomy to treat it, but surely if there’s a chance that the treatment is causing me more illness and disability, I should be allowed to access the same treatement as those with more severe endo.
I’m pretty sure they’re likely going to make me try coming off the birth control to see if it does improve my overall health because they agree to do the surgery, which terrifies me because I don’t know how many periods I’m going to have to suffer through before a decision is made. It’s fucking bullshit that women can be like “I want new boobs!” and bam, they’ve got new boobs, but if they want their uterus yeeted, there’s a ton of gatekeeping bullshit.
But yep, I just want to feel better, but I don’t want to suffer through painful periods (especially if they’re irregular, which they might be!) to see.