Journal: 10 Feb 2024

❣️ Mood of the Day: sad
🍽️ Food of the Day: frikandel
🎼 Song of the Day: Electric Callboy - Everytime We Touch
🪄 Activity of the Day: being a saddo

Everything kinda sucks right now. My health has been epically shit for weeks now and I keep trying to pretend like it’s not so bad, but it really, really is. I’m pretty sure it’s POTS, but it could be dangerous to just assume that and start eating a lot of salt so if I want to get better, I have to fight my doctor. I really don’t have the energy for that, but needs must.

It could potentially also be the nortriptyline I’m on for my nerve pain, as my eyesight has also gotten pretty fucking shitty over the past few months, but coming off that will be an epic bitch if it’s anything like coming off amitriptyline was. But again, needs must. Hopefully not a need, because the nerve pain coming back isn’t something I look forward to, but my heart is being an asshole. That’s more important.

It’s so freakin’ hard to get anything done when I’m constantly feeling like absolute trash, or I start feeling like absolute trash out of nowhere. I just hope I get an answer/some help before I start getting work, because my husband was so excited to get me the job and I can’t really demonstrate to him how bad I feel without him going “but that’s normal!”. Because to him, it is normal.

This probably makes no sense, but I needed to babble about it. Thanks…

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