I am a bit of a grumpus sometimes, but similarly to how you can learn a lot about a person through knowing what they like, you can also learn a lot through knowing what they don’t. Here are a few things that grind my gears, with the reasons why. Aside from the obvious things like -ists, -phobes, and Nazis, of course. Those should be a given!
Black & white thinkers - Absolutely EVERYTHING has nuance, so when people hold an opinion on a topic that clearly comes from toeing a political line and ignores the lived experiences of other people, I really struggle to believe they’re not just parrots for a particular agenda with no ability to think for themselves.
People who exclude ANY letters from the LGBTQIA+ umbrella - I’d like to think this one is pretty self-explanatory, but if not: Every identity is valid. If it’s not illegal or directly harmful to anyone else, what the fuck does it matter to you how someone exists in this world? Mind your business.
Misandry dressed up as feminism - I find it extremely difficult to refer to myself as a feminist despite technically being one because of the loud minority of “feminists” who are trying to oppress men instead of raising women up to achieve equality. I especially cannot get on the side of the ones who don’t believe that trans women are women.
Wappies - Wappie is a Dutch term for conspiracy theorists who believe in dangerous bullshit that puts others at risk and forces people to listen to said bullshit. Believe what you want to believe, but don’t prey on gullible, vulnerable and scared people with your propaganda.
Using religion to determine rules of a society - Similarly to the idea that wappies are free to believe what they want, I also think religious freedom is great. But the moment you try to force that stuff on anyone else who doesn’t hold the same beliefs, you can absolutely get the fuck out.
Nuchterheid - This is a Dutch concept that directly translates to “sobriety”. It means being pragmatic, unemotional, and “logical”. I wouldn’t say this is by itself is a bad thing, but when it’s applied to things like pandemics, it becomes a pretty solid base for eugenics and generally treating people like shit. Logic might seem like an objective thing, but it’s really not. You can justify anything with "logic".
People who misunderstand centrism - Centrism is NOT the centre of left and right. It’s taking the stuff that makes sense FROM the left and right and disregarding the stuff that doesn’t. It’s not about compromising on human rights because capitalism is king or whatever other ignorant shit gets said about it. This goes for people who call themselves centrists when they’re clearly a Republican with a handful of progressive views. This is what makes people think centrism is a cop-out way to refer to their political beliefs.
Republicans - I don't think I need to really explain this one. Anyone who openly identifies as a Republican in 2023 is automatically off my list of people whose opinions I give a shit about.
Misusing words just because they’re commonly misused by others - While I understand that language is made-up and always changing, that doesn’t mean that Holland is a country, introverts/asocial/shy people are “antisocial”, and if you’re “perusing” something, you’re skimming over it quickly. I will die on this hill.
People who assume that fat = slow - I have ADHD and I am married to an almost 2m (6’6”) tall man. The speed at which I walk is faster than most. My weight has no effect on my walking speed and stride. If you see me and calculate that you need to overtake me in order to not be stuck behind a slow walker and I hear you huffing and puffing to get past only to slow down right in front of me, I will be pulling a mind finger right at the back of your damn head.
Gatekeeping - If someone doesn’t fit your idea of what someone who likes a particular thing should look/be like and you think it ruins your own enjoyment of whatever it is, that’s a problem that lies entirely with you. Keep it to yourself and let people enjoy what they want to enjoy.
Cancel culture - Don't get me wrong. I firmly believe people should take accountability for their mistakes, and in some cases, that should mean losing their platform. But not all mistakes are equal. Poor taste jokes or comments made in years past are not the same as predatory behaviour or being hateful with no remorse or evidence of change.
J.K. Rowling/Harry Potter - I was never a Harry Potter fan. I read the first book and it didn’t click with me. Then when my friends started becoming Potterheads, I tried again. It still didn’t click. I started feeling a little bit of resentment when I couldn’t participate in the discourse about it. When it was revealed that the author was a piece of shit, I finally felt vindicated in my dislike of the series and glad I hadn’t developed the same attachment as my peers.
Taylor Swift- While I generally don’t mind her music, the very meticulously planned nature of her career is sketchy to me. I became an all-out “hater” when she decided to come out as a “gay icon” after the whole Kim and Kanye thing to rehabilitate her image. It just rubbed me the wrong way, and I’m on board with the idea that she is a 🐍.
Stan culture - Not being able to express your opinions about something popular without a stan finding you and jumping down your throat about it is kinda terrifying. While I remember being obsessed with boybands as a teenager, I don’t think I ever felt like I needed to violently defend them against anyone who simply didn’t like them. Like, it’s fine that you love them but not everyone has to.
Social generations and the confusion/lack of consensus about them - Calling anyone younger than Boomers “Millennials”, calling people born after 1985 “elder Millennials” (’86-’91 = peak Millennial), Gen Z bullying Millennials instead of Gen X which should be the natural order of things, Gen X being forgotten in most discussions about generations: all things that annoy the hell out of me.
Fireworks - An extremely frivolous and antisocial waste of money that fucks with the environment, causes unnecessary strain on the healthcare system, and scares the shit out of animals and those with noise-based anxiety/PTSD. My hatred of fireworks did actually lead to me finding out that I have ADHD, so I can’t be entirely mad.
Spring/summer - The moment outdoor temperatures climb above 18°C (64°C), I start to malfunction. My fatigue gets worse, my brain fog gets worse, my mental health gets worse, life in general gets worse. I will never understand why people enjoy heat, and I will ESPECIALLY never understand people who are happy that climate change is warming everything up.
Daylight saving time - There are so many reasons why this is an incredibly nonsensical tradition that some places are still beholden to. Shifting the daylight in the seasons where it naturally gets lighter at the end of the day to save power? HUH? It ~would~ make more sense to do it in winter… but then the sun wouldn’t come up until 9am. So, it really makes no sense either way. It also causes jetlag and health problems, so why the fuck do we keep doing it?!
Calendars that start on Sunday - The word to describe Saturday and Sunday is literally weekEND. Unless you’re going to start calling it “weekbookends”, the week starts on Monday. Quit it with the calendars with weeks that start on Sunday. I don’t care what religious ass reason you have for it.
Dogs with common (Boomer) human names - This is a weird one, I know. I have no idea why it bothers me so much to hear about dogs named Bob and Susan, but I’m always like “NOOOOOOO!”. Cats with human names? That’s fine. But dogs? They just come off as beings that need fun names.
Satay sauce - The only food I flat out refuse to eat. For whatever reason, the idea of spicy peanut butter sauce makes me gag. Peanut butter = yum! Spices = fine. Together? What fresh hell is this?!